Are the people in your “Church” allowed to speak?

by
Eulogy

Are you allowed to speak?

Tommy “The Scouser” called me to say that he had a little piece written out for the funeral of our Auntie May who he was particularly close to. It wasn’t a full eulogy but it was a really short piece that perfectly summed up the character and spirit of our fabulous aunt. He was really upset reading it to me.

He wanted to read it at the funeral mass but wasn’t sure if he could manage actually saying it without getting really upset. If that was the case he wanted to know that I was in reserve to read it for him. I knew he would be fine but agreed in any case.

On the day of the funeral I was asked would I do a reading along with some of the other family members. I did my piece and I wondered what was going on as the funeral mass drew to an end and there was no sign of “The Scouser” going up to the altar – maybe he decided he wasn’t up to it after all?..I wondered.

The funeral party moved on to the cemetery where Auntie May was laid to rest as the priest said the final prayers. Just as he finished I noticed Tommy making his way to the microphone (much to the surprise of the priest) and he did May proud by reading his beautiful and very emotional piece, which was greeted by a huge round of applause from everyone standing in the sunshine in the peaceful country graveyard.

This was a really special moment as it was the only true occasion during the whole funeral process where the family put a “personal” stamp on the proceedings, where a “real” voice was heard and in some small way he said what we had all felt and wanted to say.

I wondered why Tommy had left it so late in the day to read his piece and was totally shocked to hear that the priest in question “did not allow” people to say such things and would not allow it at the mass!

This has left me bewildered and quite furious and while I know it is not the usual behaviour of the church it does give you an insight into some of the odd and very old and traditional thinking that has turned so many people against them in recent times.

Whose church is it anyway I thought? Whose memory were we all honouring?

The more I thought about this the more I reflected on all the other organisations where there are people that have very important things to say but just aren’t allowed. It’s easy to lose sight of what an organisation is about and its even easier to block the real important voices from being heard.

Are the people in your “Church” allowed to speak?

Greg Canty is a partner of Fuzion

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3 Responses to “Are the people in your “Church” allowed to speak?”

  1. Tommy Says:

    Couldn’t have put it better myself Greg. As you said “Who’s church is it anyway?”. Just another reason why people are leaving it in droves. I think I told you that I’ve been to many funerals in Liverpool,(too many),and we were always allowed to personalise the service in any way we wanted. We could play songs of our choosing and anyone who wanted to speak was welcome to do so. At my good friend Brian’s funeral we played the Pink Floyd classics “Wish you were here” and “Shine on you crazy diamond”. I will always remember that service with fondness,which is not a sentiment that usually springs to mind when talking about funerals.
    But the question you posed brings me around to one of our often discussed topics. Adoption, and the fact that adoptees have no rights in this country to find out who their parents are.

    The church is largely to blame for this injustice.
    Who’s life is it anyway?

  2. Tommy Says:

    Haha. I’ll look forward to that Mr.Hasselhoff.

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